Part 1: "We Refugees" (Benjamin Zephaniah)
In Zephaniah’s poetic manifesto We Refugees, we face an appalling truth: all of us, at any time and place, are susceptible of becoming refugees. The author depicts a hometown, a social group, sunny lands, folk songs and rhythms; a myriad of personal experiences told in the first-person plural to include absolutely everyone, making a clear statement about the universality of exile. The video that accompanies the text introduces a variety of people with ‘ordinary’ looks and of different ages reciting the words, in turns. Thus, the spirit of comprehensiveness is reinforced. Moreover, the images are in an egalitarian black and white, making the skin complexions indistinguishable. ‘We can all be refugees’ insists time and again the British writer, son of a Jamaican mother and a Barbadian father. As if he wanted to rest assured that we finally get it: No one is safe, no refugee is to blame for being so, and being one implies a terribly painful loss.
Part 2: "Refugees"
(Brian Bilston)
In
the poem “Refugees” we might either follow the logical order of reading and
find one text, or subvert it and discover an antagonistic voice, in an original
exercise of empathy and perspective. It comes as no surprise that public
opinion tends to split in halves in regard to different issues; the “gap” is
always there, diligently waiting as a treacherous snake that is willing to
attack. In this case, the halves are: people who openly refuse to accept and
integrate those “outsiders”, and people who understand that the “newcomers”
must have had good reasons to flee, and that they are not a menace. And in
between, deep down in the gap –of course– the bereft ones lie. The interesting
proposal hidden in this reversible poem casts light on the topic of multiple
perspectives and, at once, interpellates us: Whose truth are we reading about?
The following is another reversible poem that I found while doing some research. It is posted in a website of a fund that helps victims of domestic violence in the UK: refuge.org.uk . The advertising agency responsible for the image is Mc Cann Bristol, but no one is credited for the words.
It could be seen as another case of people in need of a refuge. Many women and children don't flee their countries but must leave their homes, where the menace dwells.
LAST LAST LAST task: PEER CORRECTION
NB: a recurrent "mistake" is a WEAK topic sentence, or NO connection at all between the TS and the rest of the paragraph. **GO BACK to the entry (video) related to TYPES of TS!**
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Part 3: PEER CORRECTION: CLAUDIA ALEXANDRA DILELLA
Refugees by Brian Bliston.
Brian Bliston chooses a witty and shocking outline to get his message through.The way in which he toys with our inner feelings regarding refugees and the way in which some people tend to perceive them is much more than a simple writing- style choice. He puts us at war with ourselves by focusing our attention on the plight these people are subjected to even after having fled their home countries because of war or persecution in contrast to the danger they are said to pose for others. His ultimate aim, for me, is to make us realize what is behind figures and blurred faces, who these people are, the group and individual circumstances that led them to their present situation, how they live, work and try to be part of the communities they are in.
Claudia Alexandra Dilella
Dear Claudia,
I have decided to assess your paragraph on "Refugees" because, when I first read it, I found it a beautiful exegesis, rich in reflection and carefully selected and combined words. It is brief, yet full of meaning. I particularly like the "blurred faces" imagery.
As regards the rubric, your writing accomplishes all the instances. I have found no errors in grammar or vocabulary, only the misspelling of the lastname of the author, that should read Bilston instead of Bliston (I am sure that it's a typo). The main idea stands out and is easily identified. Although I am not completely sure, probably the topic sentence is not complete, maybe I would have included the topic (refugees) in it, at least as a sole mention. In your topic sentence, you refer to the structure of the poem and the resource of the palindrome, but the topic "refugees" is left out. As I said, I am not certain that this can be a problem, and in fact I lack the authority to assure it. We are here to learn.
Finally, my sincere congratulations for a beautifully written paragraph, I am a fan of your productions and this one didn't let me down.
In terms of the paragraph work, I must admit that short didn't mean easy
this time. I felt under extreme strain due to this brevity. Defining a good
topic sentence, comprehensible but not too broad, was perhaps the biggest
challenge. Accordinly, finding a final sentence that could round up the idea
was something I also put my efforts on accomplishing. As for the lenght of the
paragraphs, in both cases I decided not to make them too long so as to to keep
sight of the topic sentence, and to avoid an overwhelming amount of
information.
As a final reflection, and adding to what I already expressed through the paragraphs, I wish to state the following: We all, as teachers to be, constitute an active piece in the construction of culture and society. It is our unquestionable duty -if not as citizens, as educators- to be committed to a more humane formation of our students. It is written in the national curricula, and it is carved in our consciences. Human welfare, empathy and unselfishness are goals towards which each teacher should walk, regardless the many pitfalls in the way. And for those who say that this is ideologization, and that teachers should be neutral, my response borrows Paulo Freire's dexterous pen: “Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral”.
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